Jul
04
2009
Happy Independence Day. Here’s an inspirational performance about American pride from Drop Dead Gorgeous. The action begins at 7:35, but the whole thing is obviously awesome.

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Jul
02
2009

Your Weekly LOLZ

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Jul
02
2009

We seek an America in which no one feels the pain of discrimination based on who you are or who you love, and I know that many in this room don’t believe that progress has come fast enough, and I understand that. It’s not for me to tell you to be patient anymore than it was for others to counsel patience to African-Americans who were petitioning for equal rights a half century ago.

But I say this: We have made progress, and we will make more. And I want you to know that I expect and hope to be judged not by words, not by promises that I made, but by promises that my administration keeps … We’ve been in office six months now. I suspect that by the time this administration is over, I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration.

President Obama, addressing the big pink elephant in the room on the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Meanwhile, Salon has a piece on Obama’s direct courtship of 300 gay leaders, and WOW has an interaction between Michelle Obama and cranky SF homo Michael Petrelis in which she expresses her support for repealing DOMA.

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Jul
02
2009
Speaking of the VH1 universe, here is Sarah Haskins of Target Women taking a look at the current season of Charm School.

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Jul
02
2009

Here is the supertrailer for Megan Wants a Millionaire, the latest VH1 spinoff featuring a contestant from an -Of Love show now hosting their own dating show. It is, however, the first show not to feature the word “love” in the title (I Love New York, Real Chance of Love, Daisy of Love), which is appropriate for Megan Hauserman, since she’s using the show to land a rich husband and realize her life-long goal of becoming a trophy wife. Here is Videogum’s response to this latest spinoff:

Look, she’s good at what she does, whatever that is. And there’s something refreshingly honest about VH1’s complete abandonment of any pretense of these shows being anything other than attention-starved insane people fucking each other and trying to get their hands on some money, in no particular order. But how long can this go on, VH1? I know that these shows literally cost $14 and a bag of Lender’s frozen bagels to make, and that’s for the entire season, but at some point your audience simply won’t have the pre-requisite knowledge to even understand what is going on. “Wait, so the star was a waitress at the restaurant where contestants on a previous Of Love show ate and gave each other handjobs, and now they’re trying to find “love” in a group of dudes whose defining characteristic is that they’ve all had siblings who were at one point or another in the background of another VH1 show? And it’s how many episodes? 12? But it will feel like thousands, right? Perfect. I’m totally on board for this.”

And yes, I am totally on board for this.

In other VH1 spinoff news, Frank the Entertainer is also getting his own spinoff: The Entertainer of Love (sigh). I am extremely excited for the army of syphilitic Jersey whores who will turn out for the casting calls.

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Jul
02
2009
I made $12,000. That’s why I did it. And they cut my hair. But you know who else was up for that? Sarah Jessica Parker. I beat her.
Tori Amos on the Kellogg’s Just Right commercial you can see on YouTube [Spin]. Back when I was interviewing professional musicians, I learned that you should never bring up their history working on commercials as a negative. I still blanch every time I hear the name Lucy Kaplansky. I’m sorry, Lucy. I didn’t know any better.

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Jul
02
2009

Martin Lawrence is Shanaynay and Jamie Foxx is Wanda in Skank Robbers, the shoulda-been runaway box office hit of 1994. This is actually a parody from this year’s BET Awards (yes, things actually happened there that were unrelated to MJ). I would have loved to hear the conversation between Jamie and Martin while they were filming this:

Jamie: Man, this is such a blast. Who would have guessed back when we played these characters that our careers would be where they are today?

Martin: (silence)

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Jul
02
2009

This Week in the Interwebs...

  • There was some concern in the blogosphere this week about Lifetime’s alleged heterosexualization of Project Runway, in the form of a breeder-seeking TV ad showing straight, God-fearing middle Americans who just love watching bitchy sodomites design evening wear for drag queens. But Lifetime now appears to be wildly overcompensating to the gays: on an upcoming episode of their new comedy show, Drop Dead Diva (possibly the gayest title ever), series regular Margaret Cho will be joined by Rosie O’Donnell, Delta Burke…and LIZA MINNELLI. Did I mention that Delta and Liza will play dueling psychic sisters? Obama needs to take a lesson from Lifetime on how to appease the gays when our feathers have been ruffled. And by that, I mean he needs to invite the cast of Drop Dead Diva to join him for a rousing rendition of “Poker Face” at the next White House press briefing.
  • Speaking of sodomy, it’s now officially legal in India (or at least in Delhi). Look out Delhi, here come the nellies!
  • Melly vs. Stomach has been shockingly prolific recently, treating its readers to two actual posts in as many weeks! Check out an update on Melanie’s ongoing jihad against all things insect, as well as her impressive sexualization of the Stanley Cup.
  • Peaches Christ has announced her 12th (and allegedly final) Midnight Mass lineup at the Bridge Theater this summer — and the big news is that they’ll have Linda Blair in person for a two-night presentation of Roller Boogie and The Exorcist! This also represents my final opportunity to attend a MM presentation of Showgirls, and by God, I will not fall asleep this year.
  • Gap founder Don Fisher has formally dropped his absurdly controversial bid to build a museum in SF’s Presidio neighborhood. I hope you’re fucking happy with yourselves, you bed-shitting activist losers.
  • Movie news! Holy fucking shit. In The Kids Are All Right, my BFF Julianne Moore and Annette Bening are set to play a lesbian couple whose teenage children decide to find the sperm donor (Mark Ruffalo) used in their conception. Lisa Cholodenko (High Art) will direct. This will be - how do you put it? - amaaaaaaazing. I hope JM reprises her gruff lesbian gait from Psycho. Also, Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which premieres its next season on Sept. 17, btw) is set to make the big-screen leap with a film called Going the Distance, costarring Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, and Christina Applegate. Huzzah!
  • Vulture presents the top ten entries in their Britney Spears haiku contest. My personal favorite: “Leave Britney alone. / She has feelings and a soul / And thighs that won’t quit.”
  • In bad news for my former employer, Headsets.com, it appears that Californian drivers have largely chosen to ignore the law requiring them to use cellphone headsets when driving — tickets be damned. The citizens of CA are basically saying, “We’d rather get a ticket than look like one of those headset assholes.”
  • Dating columnist Lindsay Gebhart, who will soon be holding auditions for a new gay husband in the Brooklyn area, has two new columns: Should you control your sexual fantasies? and I have a type, and it starts with the letter J.
  • Videogum has a piece on two girls who decided to take a cue from Arrested Development and open their own banana stand. After all, there’s always money in the banana stand. No word yet on any “Big Yellow Joint”-style tribute songs.
  • In sad news, beloved indie troubadour Jens Lekman has been formally diagnosed with the swine flu. Evidently it’s still going around?
  • In an interview with Vulture, flaming Ugly Betty actor Michael Urie (whom I resemble on my better days) got a bit touchy when asked about his sexuality, which he still refuses to discuss. However, in the same interview he mentions that his dog is named “Dame Lady Colonel Brussels Sprouts the First,” which is pretty much the most obvious “Yes I am” confirmation this side of a People cover story.
  • The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences drew quite a bit of controversy last week when they announced they’re expanding the Best Picture category at the Oscars from five nominees to ten. I personally love this idea, because it means films that aren’t generally recognized in this category (comedies, animation, non-Weinstein productions) will actually have a chance. Vulture reviews ten reasons why this is a positive development. Also, the Best Original Song category is just about dead. I blame Three 6 Mafia.
  • In a disturbing development from SF Pride this past weekend, our massive pink triangle Holocaust memorial was charred in an apparent arson attempt. And by “apparent arson attempt,” they mean celebrity grand marshall Cloris Leachman fell asleep with a lit cigarette in her mouth while drunkenly crawling across it.
  • Some fun from McSweeney’s: Great Moments in Cinema Ruined By Cookies By Benjamin Percy; Declarations of Conjugal Interest from the Massachusetts Federalist, 1733 By Steve Etheridge; and I Can Triple Your Sales or Income With My Simple Sex/Heroin System By Dan Kennedy.
  • Reason 5,673,926 why Google is probably the antichrist: their thirst for power could bury San Francisco in rubble.
  • The lineup for this year’s free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival here in SF is slowly being unveiled, and already features such personal favorites as Allison Moorer, Mavis Staples, Elvis Perkins in Dearland, Okkervil River, Neko Case, Steve Earle & the Bluegrass Dukes, Dar Williams, Amadou & Mariam, Gillian Welch, Jessica Lea Mayfield, The Chieftains, Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris, Aimee Mann, Hayes Carll, and Nick Lowe. Oh, and one other singer I vaguely enjoy: MARIANNE FAITHFULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Videogum’s Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time brings them to Margot at the Wedding, a film I personally enjoy and own on DVD. I’m only mentioning it because it’s highly gratifying to Scott, who absolutely despised this movie when we saw it at the Embarcadero. I hope you’re happy. Hmph!
  • Attention NeNe fans: the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta will premiere on Bravo on July 30! All the main bitches are back: NeNe, Sheree, Lisa, Kim, Kim’s beat-ass weave. And boring-ass DeShawn has been replaced by a woman named Kandi - a former member of 90s girl group Xscape! The sassiness level will be off the charts!
  • Melissa Auf Der Maur says not to get too excited about a Hole reunion just yet; also, calls Courtney a “nutbag.”
  • And also, just because: BestWeekEver presents 50 Animals In Fake Beards.

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Jul
02
2009

paulscheer:

GEISHA ROBOT looks like it will be my new favorite film of all time. The VO is amazing.

Please watch. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed, but mind blown

via RobertPopper.com

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Jun
30
2009

In which I learn of two more deaths while DJing at El Rio

  • Drunk #1: Everyone's dying these days.
  • Drunk #2: Has anyone died since last week?
  • Drunk #1: Uh, yeah, that one guy...
  • Drunk #2: Who?
  • Drunk #1: Oh, oh — the ShamWow guy!
  • Drunk #2: Oh really?
  • Drunk #1: Yeah, the ShamWow guy is totally dead.
  • Drunk #2: Willie Mays?
  • Drunk #1: Yep.

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Jun
26
2009
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Florence + the Machine - “You’ve Got the Love” [Lungs / 2009]

Here’s an awesome song from a highly buzzed-about new British act. Expect to hear a lot more about them as the weeks go by. I’ve also listened to Little Boots and La Roux, but there’s something really unique about Florence’s sound. And Courtney Love recently said she did a show with F+tM and “had her ass handed to her,” which is quite a ringing endorsement from a woman who usually claims to be the only truly rocking woman in music. Check it out.

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Jun
26
2009
This is much better than it should be. Check out this video remix of what inevitably would have happened if Edward Cullen from Twilight had relocated to Sunnydale High and met vampire slayer/sexer Buffy Summers.

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Jun
26
2009
How do you solve a problem like Winston?

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Jun
26
2009
For all you Real Housewives of New Jersey fans, here is a parody of their seemingly endless reunion shows from Chelsea Lately.

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Jun
26
2009
I saw Bat For Lashes at Great American Music Hall a few weeks ago, and it was an awesomely intoxicating performance. Natasha Khan is entirely too cute for her own good. Here they are performing “Daniel” on Jimmy Kimmel, wearing the exact same clothes they wore in SF. Do you think musicians go on tour with multiple pairs of the same outfit, or are they just stanky? I had this conversation recently about PJ Harvey when it became evident she’d worn the exact same dress for each of her tour dates. Hmm.

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