Here’s a gift for your weekend: from the creators of Planet Unicorn, I give you Episode One of Fagney & Gaycey. There are two more episodes on YouTube. Enjoy!
"yeah, what's-her-name. bouncy-bouncy."
Mary Woronov, pictured above with Andy Warhol, The Velvet Underground, and Gerard Malanga, was one of the stars of the Warhol Factory scene of the ’60s. After parting ways with Warhol, she became a B-movie actress extraordinaire, appearing in such classics as Silent Night, Bloody Night, Death Race 2000, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Warlock, Chopping Mall, and Eating Raoul.
She’s still at it, and recently granted an interview to Vulture to promote her latest film, House of the Devil. And let me tell you, this woman is a soundbite machine. Highlights below:
[on the gays]
I like male homosexuals very much. I like female homosexuals, too, because now they’re so pretty. It’s bizarre. When I was young, they were always fat and ugly, but now they’re gorgeous.
[on an anecdote in her memoir about disposing of a young woman’s body who appeared to have overdosed]
We wanted to get rid of her and put her down a mail slot. What’s dark about it? It’s funny. She wasn’t even dead. We were nice to her, we were going to mail her out. You have to understand how high we were.
[on Andy Warhol]
II think he was very brave, because he was certainly pro-homosexual when everybody was against it. If you saw [Robert] Rauschenberg, he’d pretend to be straight for his clients. Warhol never did. He was a complete fag to everybody.
[on her state of mind when she joined the Warhol scene in the ’60s]
I was furious about the fact that I was going to be some stinky girl who could do absolutely nothing but get married and lick some dick for the rest of her life. What power did I have? I had to be nice, and I wanted to be powerful.
[on younger stars she’s interested in]
Yeah, what’s-her-name. Bouncy-Bouncy.
Uh, Beyoncé?
Yeah. She’s mechanical. She’s bizarre. She’s fascinating. I don’t actually like her voice. I would never listen to her.
Here’s the trailer for Angelina Jolie’s latest action flick, Salt. Jolie’s role was originally written for Tom Cruise, then was slightly reworked when Tommy Girl dropped out and Angie stepped in. I’m sure their savings on shoe lifts alone justified the inconvenience of the rewrites.
While I admit that it looks kinda cool, I do long for the days when Angie only played drug-addicted, sexually ambiguous femme fatales. And while I suppose she’s still playing femme fatales (in a more literal sense of the phrase, at least), Salt just ain’t Gia. Also, her ongoing commitment to action films makes it seem like acting has become just a job to her, rather than a personal expression. But I guess she probably views acting as a means to finance her personal mission to start a child army and save the world, so: I guess it’s fine.
Smize = smite with your eyes
This terrifying creature is Erin, one of the four remaining contestants on the current cycle of America’s Next Top Model. Of Erin, Rich at fourfour writes, “She tends to look like she’s forcing the evil back, that if she doesn’t concentrate and clench and screw up her face, her head will turn into a goat’s or something. That’d be fierce, but the wrong kind of fierce.” So true.
By the way, it was Erin’s Tyra-dictated makeover (recently renamed “Ty-overs”) that made her hair and eyebrows that color. Because she understands beauty!
Speaking of which, there are only two episodes left, so now would be a good time to catch up on Rich’s hysterical recaps of this season.
Here is Kristen Wiig reading the “early” poems of Suzanne Somers.
Here is the official one-sheet for A Single Man. Love it.
Speaking of awesome bands that played at the Treasure Island Music Festival a few weeks ago: Thao and the Get Down Stay Down perform a stripped-down acoustic rendition of the title track to this year’s Know Better Learn Faster in a living-room concert for Yours Tru.ly. After a brief story recalling a Zach Morris cell phone episode (and, hey, is that a copy of Saved by the Bell: The Board Game?), Thao Nguyen unleashes her pipes and works herself into a minor frenzy over this catchy tune (via Pitchfork).
Here is the visually arresting and oddly moving video for “Ready, Able” by Grizzly Bear, from Veckatimest. The clip is directed by Allison Schulnik.
In addition to an appearance by Heather Chadwell, last night’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia also marked the launch of what will surely be one of the defining movements of our generation: the Dick Towel. And guess what? They launched a real website where you can seriously order one! Click the photo above to see for yourself.
And here is the hilarious Dick Towel infomercial:
Here is the second trailer for Brothers, starring Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Tobey Maguire, directed by Jim Sheridan from a script by David Benioff.
I think this looks incredible and has an impeccable pedigree, but here’s what I’m wondering: in the wake of yesterday’s massacre at Fort Hood, are American audiences ready for a movie about a deranged Iraq War veteran who terrorizes his family while shooting a gun? Then again, this isn’t coming out until next month, and our fickle national attention span will probably have moved on by then. Still, it could present a unique challenge to the film’s marketing.
Mo’Nique finally concludes her unofficial ban on Precious promotional appearances with the above spot on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. And if you thought a curvy black comedienne and a gangly neurotic Scotsman couldn’t have explosive sexual chemistry, you thought very wrong.
(Milk Men: A Mad Men Parody
“That cow’s got my nuts in a goddamn vise.”
Julianne Moore just taped an appearance for 30 Rock. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go scream myself hoarse.
In other 30 Rock casting news, James Franco and Padma Lakshmi have also taped guest appearances for the show. Hurrah on both counts!
Click the photo for more on Julianne’s role.
ZOMG!!! Heather Chadwell, the HBIC of the Rock of Love universe, was on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia tonight! Granted, she played a hooker, had no dialogue, and wasn’t mentioned in the end credits — but dammit, she was there!
According to her MySpace, this is just the beginning for Ms. Chadwell. She’s also taped appearances for Entourage, Californication, Melrose Place, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. She presumably plays prostitutes in all of them, but still: exposure! She’s also slated to play “herself” in such auspicious upcoming movies as Forever Plaid and Lean Like A Cholo, and she’s starring alongside such A-listers as Brian Austin Green, Dean Cain, and Jonathan Lipnicki in the film Sandy Creek Girls (which ever netted her a mention in Variety!). Get it, bitch!
And never forget:
“I’m having an asthma attack, and there’s whores in my face!”
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