January 2009
77 posts
Meet the Girls of "America's Next Top Model: Cycle...
ALLISON Age: 20 Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana Occupation: Artist
Allison looks good. Kinda dull. Delicate features. I’m guessing she’ll get short hair in the makeover. Also, she’s from New Orleans, which will give Tyra another opportunity to hump the legacy and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. ____________________________________ AMINAT Age: 21 Hometown: Union, New Jersey...
"Fair enough."
My friend Lindsay just posted a hilarious column over at the Examiner, and I have to share it with you. This kind of thing happens to her a lot. One time we were at Cat Club in SOMA, when a gentleman like the one in this story approached us (or, more specifically, her) and started talking to her. She just stared straight ahead. He kept “spitting game.” Her silence continued....
Scarlett Johansson - “Last Goodbye”...
ZOMG Baby Giraffe at the SF Zoo!!!
“Reporters these days operate under the assumption that men with...”
– —Dan Savage, in response to reports that flaming Gaysian fashion designer Jason Wu, who designed Michelle Obama’s Inaugural Ball gown (as well as the thoroughly heterosexual Amanda Lepore doll, right) was furious with The New York Times for “outing” him to his family. To paraphrase...
Liza's on "The View," and the collective insanity...
Yesterday in the Interwebs: Part II
The notoriously impotent SFPD are attempting to set up some “drug-free zones” in the Tenderloin. Yeah, good luck with that. Maybe next they can set up some “Asian-free zones” in Chinatown.
New York Times theater critic Ben Brantley has somewhat redeemed himself after his no-holds-barred savaging of the new Hedda Gabler revival by penning a delightful backhanded-compliment...
Yesterday in the Interwebs...
I didn’t have time to post these yesterday. I’m sowwy.
The Prop. 8 briefs are all in, thousands of pages from sponsors and opponents alike, all making their case to the state Supreme Court. The next step is a court hearing, perhaps by the first week of March in San Francisco. A ruling, due 90 days later, should be the last word on the validity of the Nov. 4 initiative.
The New York...
An SNL 90s Megapost
I just happened to be perusing the video selection over at NBC’s Saturday Night Live page, and I came across a series of gems that helped define my high school years. Enjoy!
This has me very upset.
The elegant and natural beauty pictured above is recently shitcanned Rock of Love Bus contestant Melissa, who made history this past week when she became the first contestant in the. history. of. Rock. of. Love. to make Bret Michaels angry enough to yell.
“Your tour ends here, get the fuck out!” he thundered, following a very bumpy episode in which she busted her arm and popped her...
Today in the Interwebs...
This might be your only chance to read a story in The New York Times that opens with a photo of a sign that says BUTT HOLE ROAD. Don’t miss it.
In a small victory against what Kathy Griffin amusingly described as the “proudly aggressive ignorance” of the South, voters in Nashville struck down a proposal that would have made English the city’s official language, and would...
20 Noms More Interesting Than The Oscars
from Best Week Ever:
By Michelle Collins
The 81st Annual Academy Award nominations were announced yesterday. And guess who, for the first time in modern history, couldn’t give a care? That’s right, it’s me.
Here are 20 Noms More Interesting Than The Oscars:
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A Craigslist Post for Our Troubled Times:
“Fine, Don’t Fucking Hire Me, You Can’t Handle My Shit”
Date: 2008-12-02, 10:34PM CST What the fuck people! I need a motherfuckin job, and I have a resume that says I am fucking fit to be your goddamn front desk/administrative assistant. I have applied to a ton of jobs on here, and not one of them responded, WHAT THE FUCK?! Cover Letter? Here’s my fucking cover...
The Biggest Oscar Snubs of the Morning
from Defamer:
Look what you’ve done to this poor little robot, Academy! Of course, it’s nothing compared to the massive burns incurred by Revolutionary Road and a certain well-armored vigilante. Here are today’s huge snubs:
No Dark Knight love: Aside from Heath Ledger’s inevitable nomination, The Dark Knight got thrashed around like a minor-league henchman pointlessly...
The 81st Academy Award Nominations
Performance by an actor in a leading role
Richard Jenkins in “The Visitor” (Overture Films)
Frank Langella in “Frost/Nixon” (Universal)
Sean Penn in “Milk” (Focus Features)
Brad Pitt in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
Mickey Rourke in “The Wrestler” (Fox Searchlight)
Performance by an actor in a...
Gene Robinson's Inaugural Prayer
O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…
Bless us with tears — tears for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women in many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.
Bless this nation with anger — anger at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees...
'The Love Guru,' 'Crystal Skull' Among Piles of...
from Defamer:
The Razzie nominees—recognized for singular achievements in filling theaters with fetid bad-cinema stink—were announced today, with Mike Myers’s spiritual passion project The Love Guru most singled out for its unfathomable crimes against good filmmaking.
As we learned in our interview with founder John Wilson, the Razzies balloting process is hardly a tossed-off affair...
Today in the Interwebs...
First, and most hilariously: Diane Sawyer was clearly wasted on Good Morning America today from partying all night at the inaugural balls. Click here to see an amazing video compilation of her drunkest moments.
Lindsay takes a break from her advice column to post a scathing condemnation of a Craigslist job ad that was a bit too cutesy for the Meerkat’s liking.
The New York Times analyzes...
The Obamas: A Venn Diagram Analysis
Day One
"Praise Song for the Day": The Inaugural Poem by...
Praise song for the day.
Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others’ eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair. Someone is trying...
Your Daily LOLZ
Cat Bordellos Take Over Japan
By Michelle Collins
from BestWeekEver
(Above, man decides which cat he’d like to engage in heavy petting with. The grey one prays it’s not him.)
Ah, the Japanese. A country that has no shame in embracing one of the world’s oldest and most majestic domesticated animal: The housecat. Once again, Japan has triumphed in inspired ideas, as a series of popular Cat Cafes have opened up around...
White House Site Updated With Lengthy List Of...
from Towleroad:
Within seconds of President Obama’s swearing in, the official home page of the White House was updated with a lengthy list of commitments to further LGBT rights.
Support for the LGBT Community
“While we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do. Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide...
Get in the Folds
It’s that time again! The promos for cycle 12 of America’s Next Top Model have begun to appear. Sorry for the low-quality scan, but it’s all that’s available at the moment:
Oh, Tyra. No matter how many times I ask it, the question still seems relevant: What the hell is wrong with you? As Jezebel says, “Smile with your Photoshopped thighs, girl.” And it looks...
Today in the Interwebs...
Inauguration Roundup: First of all, yay, President Obama survived! I think it will get less scary after this. If it was going to happen, I suspect it would have been today. But for real, I could barely look at the screen during his speech. Call me a spaz, but I couldn’t control my anxiety. It was like I was watching a scary movie. (“Don’t go in there!!!”) The first thing I...
Happy Obama Day!
This is my first blog post following the inauguration of President Barack Obama. And how do I feel about this?
I have the same birthday as our new First Lady!
I always enjoy seeing which famous people share my birthday, so that if I ever meet them, I can say, “OMG we have the same birthday! Let’s be friends!” It could work. It also applies to the friends and family of people I want to befriend. For instance, I have the same birthday as Julianne Moore’s babydaddy, Bart Freundlich. Clearly when I track her down and tell her this,...
My Birthday LOLZ
So I was at a lesbian house party with Coral from...
Here is Coral Smith as I always thought of her prior to last night: bikini-clad, voluptuous, sassy, bulbous fivehead and tig ol’ bitties fighting over which one you’ll stare at first, shamelessly prolonging her fifteen minutes that began on The Real World 10: Back to New York by participating in any and all challenge-based spinoffs MTV can concoct. Indeed, her...
And for you Steelers fans out there...
I never gave a shit about Pittsburgh sports teams (or any sports teams) throughout my youth. But then, after moving away from the Pittsburgh area, I gradually developed a sense of…well, I don’t want to say pride, but I found myself rooting for the Steelers (in the most passive sense possible—I still don’t watch the games or any of that shit). And so, here are my hopes for this...
The Religious Right Comes Down on Krispy Kreme
from Jezebel:
The American Life League has finally discovered the secret, immoral ingredient that makes Krispy Kreme doughnuts so very addictive: fetuses. And they are not happy.
Having been tipped off to Krispy Kreme’s dastardly scheme to make their doughnuts even more addictive than abortion on demand by their insidious use of the word “choice” in a recent free promotion,...
“The truth is a lot of Mormons gave a lot of money to the church to make Prop. 8...”
– —an unexpected vote of support from Tom Hanks
The 8 Stupidest Things Said By Reporters During...
From BestWeekEver:
When news broke yesterday afternoon that a passenger airplane had made an emergency landing into the Hudson River just upstream from Best Week Ever headquarters, the entire office seemed to come to a stop so that we could all watch the miraculous rescue take place live on various news networks. And dare we say, the news outlets seemed almost upset that more people weren’t...