the sassmouth chronicles

Here’s a gift for your weekend: from the creators of...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:47:00 -0800

Here’s a gift for your weekend: from the creators of Planet Unicorn, I give you Episode One of Fagney & Gaycey. There are two more episodes on YouTube. Enjoy!

"yeah, what's-her-name. bouncy-bouncy."

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:44:54 -0800

Mary Woronov, pictured above with Andy Warhol, The Velvet Underground, and Gerard Malanga, was one...

Here’s the trailer for Angelina Jolie’s latest...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:20:37 -0800

Here’s the trailer for Angelina Jolie’s latest action flick, Salt. Jolie’s role was originally written for Tom Cruise, then was slightly reworked when Tommy Girl dropped out and Angie stepped in. I’m sure their savings on shoe lifts alone justified the inconvenience of the rewrites.

While I admit that it looks kinda cool, I do long for the days when Angie only played drug-addicted, sexually ambiguous femme fatales. And while I suppose she’s still playing femme fatales (in a more literal sense of the phrase, at least), Salt just ain’t Gia. Also, her ongoing commitment to action films makes it seem like acting has become just a job to her, rather than a personal expression. But I guess she probably views acting as a means to finance her personal mission to start a child army and save the world, so: I guess it’s fine.

Smize = smite with your eyes

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:08:29 -0800

This terrifying creature is Erin, one of the four remaining contestants on the current cycle of...

Here is Kristen Wiig reading the “early” poems of...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:49:58 -0800

Here is Kristen Wiig reading the “early” poems of Suzanne Somers.

Here is the official one-sheet for A Single Man. Love it.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:44:56 -0800

Here is the official one-sheet for A Single Man. Love it.

Speaking of awesome bands that played at the Treasure Island...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:05:14 -0800

Speaking of awesome bands that played at the Treasure Island Music Festival a few weeks ago: Thao and the Get Down Stay Down perform a stripped-down acoustic rendition of the title track to this year’s Know Better Learn Faster in a living-room concert for Yours Tru.ly. After a brief story recalling a Zach Morris cell phone episode (and, hey, is that a copy of Saved by the Bell: The Board Game?), Thao Nguyen unleashes her pipes and works herself into a minor frenzy over this catchy tune (via Pitchfork).

Here is the visually arresting and oddly moving video for...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:56:00 -0800

Here is the visually arresting and oddly moving video for “Ready, Able” by Grizzly Bear, from Veckatimest. The clip is directed by Allison Schulnik.

In addition to an appearance by Heather Chadwell, last...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:45:54 -0800

In addition to an appearance by Heather Chadwell, last night’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia also marked the launch of what will surely be one of the defining movements of our generation: the Dick Towel. And guess what? They launched a real website where you can seriously order one! Click the photo above to see for yourself.

And here is the hilarious Dick Towel infomercial:

Here is the second trailer for Brothers, starring Natalie...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:33:19 -0800

Here is the second trailer for Brothers, starring Natalie Portman, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Tobey Maguire, directed by Jim Sheridan from a script by David Benioff.

I think this looks incredible and has an impeccable pedigree, but here’s what I’m wondering: in the wake of yesterday’s massacre at Fort Hood, are American audiences ready for a movie about a deranged Iraq War veteran who terrorizes his family while shooting a gun? Then again, this isn’t coming out until next month, and our fickle national attention span will probably have moved on by then. Still, it could present a unique challenge to the film’s marketing.

Mo’Nique finally concludes her unofficial ban on Precious...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:22:14 -0800

Mo’Nique finally concludes her unofficial ban on Precious promotional appearances with the above spot on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. And if you thought a curvy black comedienne and a gangly neurotic Scotsman couldn’t have explosive sexual chemistry, you thought very wrong.

Carrie Prejean's Alternate Book Cover

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:06:12 -0800

(via)

Milk Men: A Mad Men Parody “That cow’s got my nuts...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:53:47 -0800

Milk Men: A Mad Men Parody

“That cow’s got my nuts in a goddamn vise.”

Julianne Moore just taped an appearance for 30 Rock. If...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:49:00 -0800

Julianne Moore just taped an appearance for 30 Rock. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go scream myself hoarse.

In other 30 Rock casting news, James Franco and Padma Lakshmi have also taped guest appearances for the show. Hurrah on both counts!

Click the photo for more on Julianne’s role.

ZOMG!!! Heather Chadwell, the HBIC of the Rock of Love universe,...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

ZOMG!!! Heather Chadwell, the HBIC of the Rock of Love universe, was on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia tonight! Granted, she played a hooker, had no dialogue, and wasn’t mentioned in the end credits — but dammit, she was there!

According to her MySpace, this is just the beginning for Ms. Chadwell. She’s also taped appearances for Entourage, Californication, Melrose Place, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. She presumably plays prostitutes in all of them, but still: exposure! She’s also slated to play “herself” in such auspicious upcoming movies as Forever Plaid and Lean Like A Cholo, and she’s starring alongside such A-listers as Brian Austin Green, Dean Cain, and Jonathan Lipnicki in the film Sandy Creek Girls (which ever netted her a mention in Variety!). Get it, bitch!

And never forget:

“I’m having an asthma attack, and there’s whores in my face!”

"Why would I turn it down because I saw a picture of Gabby? […] I think that people like..."

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:57:33 -0800

“Why would I turn it down because I saw a picture of Gabby? […] I think that people like...

Five minutes of Charlie. Guaranteed to brighten even the darkest...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:24:21 -0800

Five minutes of Charlie. Guaranteed to brighten even the darkest of days.

"San Francisco? I asked you to find an actor from Middle America, a real person. You’re not..."

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:16:06 -0800

“San Francisco? I asked you to find an actor from Middle America, a real person. You’re...

Photo

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:35:58 -0800

About a month ago, I posted about the misbegotten trainwreck...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:33:00 -0800

About a month ago, I posted about the misbegotten trainwreck that was the Lady Gaga-Madonna sketch on the Ryan Reynolds episode of Saturday Night Live. It was obvious that someone (Madge *cough*) had dropped one or more of their lines, thus destroying the tiny amount of character development required to understand why the ladies go from dancing to brawling.

And now, in a tacit admission that the sketch was a total nightmare, SNL has re-edited the broadcast (which aired again this past weekend) to feature the dress rehearsal version of “Deep House Dish.” And while it’s still kinda lame, it makes far more sense now. Look at Madonna, knowing her lines! And I’m still loving her newest face. Check out the much-improved rehearsal performance above.